'Roid Rumors Must Go

When we talk about major league candidates for performance enhanced cheating, we have pretty set criteria. We profile a cheater. We put on our George Mitchell hats, pull up stat sheets and start investigating, looking for a glitch, blip or bump in the numbers. Compare age to production. Compare rookie height and weight to current. And if we are really good, we eyeball hat size from our recliner. You can see, our investigations are thorough. And when finished, we work diligently to prove to everyone we know that so-and-so is “a user” or “on the list.”

Some easy examples of how our Woodward-and-Bernstein-like digging illustrate: Barry Bonds goes from hitting 34 home runs at age 34 to hitting 73 at 36. Roger Clemens had an earned run average of 4.60 at age 36, at age 42 it was 1.87. Red flag! The user begins to slip on production, then has a wild resurgence defying nature. Gotcha cheater.

That being said, there is a current ballplayer who fits the profile and should be - but isn’t being - vehemently accused of being a cheater. That player is Derek Jeter. Derek Sanderson Cheater. The Syringe Captain. What? I can’t accuse Derek Jeter of being a steroid user? Why not? Look at the numbers: age 35, batting average .334 home runs 17 slugging percentage .482 stolen bases 23. In 2009, his average is at it’s highest point since ‘06, home runs highest since ‘05, slugging highest since ‘06 and steals highest since ‘06.

For the Yankee lead-off juicer, pop outs are now home runs, ground outs are worm-burners and each steal leaves a trail of smoke on the base paths. Could this explosion by an elder be because of health? No. Could it be hard work, perseverance? No. Steroids, that’s it.

OK, accusing Derek Jeter of using steroids sounds completely ridiculous -and it is, but his 2009 performance doesn’t match a normal statistical curve. Funny thing is Albert Pujols’s, thus far, does. Yet every time Fat Al hits a home run, somebody whispers or tweets or blogs that Pujols is juicing. The chant continued in the last week’s Sports Illustrated where Pujols’s name was dropped in comparison to what Usain Bolt should expect as far as ‘roid questioning. The “Pujols on steroids” mantra keeps coming up no matter how far Albert goes to make clear he’s clean. He even said he’d give back every dime to St. Louis if he ever tested positive.

Pujols is 29-years old. Isn’t 29 about the prime of every pro-athlete’s career? So far, things are going according to nature, he’s hit 42 home runs and is batting .320. Career highs are 49 and .359 in those categories. With less than a month to go, Pujols is 31 home runs behind Bonds’ record. He’s 80 percentage points from .400 and a good 70-plus RBI from Hack Wilson. His numbers are human, the only thing that is super-human is his consistency.

But, perhaps the most consistent player ever Hank Aaron put up similar numbers averaging 37 home runs and 113 RBI per 162 games over 20-plus years. Hammering Hank suffered through constant racism, Pujols will always be barraged with ‘roid rumors.

We’ve gotten to the point where we’re condemning anyone and everyone for the actions of a few. It’s the sports equivalent of putting the Japanese in internment camps or dubbing every Middle Eastern person a terrorist. Of course, he isn’t the only victim of accusation - Raul Ibanez was hit with rumors after a hot first half, but Pujols is on the wrong end of more digs than Osama Bin Laden.

At this point, Pujols is the victim of high school antics. He’s like the innocent cheerleader that all the other girls say sleeps around. Because there’s so much good to say about him (he even won the Roberto Clemente award) some seem to need that “yeah, but.” Yeah, I know she can do a triple back flip and stick the landing. I know she raises money for sick puppies, but, did you know she’s a slut?

I understand the hearts of baseball fans have been broken time and time again, Big Papi's news may have hurt the most (because regardless of those going "I knew it! I knew it! You didn't, shut up) and I get that it becomes a fool-me-once type of situation, but if anyone can heal the wounds, it's Albert Pujols. The man looks into the camera and says, "I respect the game too much to cheat." He doesn't smerk like A-rod. He doesn't scream like Bonds. He stares at us as if even the thought of cheating makes him physically ill. Hearing Pujols speak could make Joseph Stalin feel guilty for thinking anything negative.

The reality is that until any evidence surfaces, we must assume innocence because, well, what else can we do? Unfounded accusations get you as far in journalism as fantasy football does toward being a tailback. Thing is, even John Dowd can’t go into the clubhouse, trainers room or follow players home. We have the choice between marveling at Pujols the way people did at Aaron or being cynical. Call me naïve, but for now, I’m choosing a state of awe.